Longing
by stilldeandra21
Summary: It has been over 4 years since the Great Thaw. Anna's married and Elsa wants the same happiness as her sister. After years of guilt Elsa decides to reinstate the trade agreement between Arendelle and the Southern Isles. When she goes she meets up with our favorite good looking villain, who's locked away. Will she find that missing piece in her heart that she wants to find in him?
1. Chapter 1

It was winter, not my favorite season, but I felt more comfortable. Arendelle was beautiful this time of the year, he natural snow surrounding the city was more joyful than the winter brought on by me years ago. It had been 4 1/2 years in fact. Time has gone by so quickly, it seems almost like it was yesterday that Anna came to me asking for my blessing of her and... _**his**_... marriage. My eyes go to the 4-year-old paper on my bedside table. I haven't had a day where I did not think of him, or read that letter.

Hans of the Southern Isles. Though now it is just Hans. After the Great Thaw, we had sent Hans home in shackles. And months after I had received a letter from King Herald, Hans' father.

_Queen Elsa of Arendelle,_

_No words could truly express the sorrow and humiliation my Queen and I feel for the events that unfolded in your kingdom. Hans has undergone a trial and has received his punishment for treason and attempt of murder to you and your sister. He has no name, he has nothing to call his own except for his cell where he will rot his life away. Although he's been stripped of his title and disowned by the royal family, I could not bring myself to kill him. _

_He is my son and though he has done much evil I still love him in the deepest parts of my heart. I am sorry, but he will no longer be your threat. I understand the reasons for no longer trading with The Southern Isles, so I wish you and your kingdom well._

_Again... we are truly sorry._

_- King Herald of the Southern Isles_

After receiving the letter, I had undergone a series of emotions. Anger, towards the man who tried to take my life... not only my life, but my sister's life as well. I then had feelings of content. Content knowing that this... beast... had got what he deserved, the rest of his life in seclusion, thinking about his crimes, stripped of his name and honor. I had also felt guilt for striking down the trade agreement with the Southern Isles... for it was not the King and Queens fault for their son's crimes.

But it was the last feeling that surprised me. It is one I still feel today, and it is sadness. In my mind I can see the man who was once a small boy, longing for a place in this world. Wanting the love from his brothers, and quite possibly his parents who were juggling 13 children and a kingdom to rule. Loneliness. That was something I could relate to. I kept the letter because I could not get Hans out of my mind after that. 

I stood by the window in my chambers peering out in to the courtyard. We just had a heavy snowfall and the pure powdery white covered everything. My eyes fell on the two people in the courtyard.

Kristoff and Anna took their vows this past summer. It was a joyous occasion. The town was in celebration for days. However, there was gossip going around as well.

"When will our queen wed?"

"The princess has wed before the queen... must be humiliating."

"Alone again... the poor thing."

It was all talk. No one was happier then I for my sister, and I wanted to show the kingdom, and really the world, that I did not need a man by my side to rule a flourishing country.

Anna was happy and that was the most beautiful thing of all.

Watching the couple in the courtyard made me feel a pull in my chest...

Longing... yes that was what was pulling at me. I wanted what she had. I wanted someone to touch me and hold me. I wanted someone to laugh with and just sit in a comfortable silence where no words are needed to show that they will always be right there with me. Yes, that was what I really wanted.

I touched the window I was staring at and the window frosted over in the small area where my hand was.

I removed my hand.

No one wanted me however. The fear of being frozen was what crossed their minds. No one wants to be with a person they fear. I know I wouldn't.

My mind then goes to an image of a man with medium red hair and beautiful green eyes that looked like they were carved from emeralds. A small smirk that could melt icebergs. A man who just had a regal presence about him.

My heart raced. I was thinking of Hans again. I shook my head of the thoughts of him and walked over to the bedside table and picked up the other papers on it. It was a Trade Agreement that I had written up today. And tomorrow I have decided to hand deliver it to the Southern Isles.

* * *

><p>Hello everyone. I have come back to Fanfiction to deliver new stories to you all. I have become obsessed with Helsa in the last year. So. I decided to write my own. I honestly don't know where the story is going. I am just winging it. Though if you have read my other stories (though you probably haven't because that is something completely different from this haha) then you know I love lemon. And I at least plan on having a lot of it in this story.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

The ocean was calm, peaceful even, but that wasn't helping me at all. I was a bundle of nerves. Every time the captain said how much longer my stomach dropped. My plans were not to just see the King Herald, but also to see Hans. I wanted to see with my own eyes how hopeless and pathetic his life was. See the scum he really is. However, I was nervous that any words the throws at me will hurt, or that he unchained and try to kill me again... That was another fear.

I had left Anna behind. She didn't want me going alone but Arendelle needs a ruler if something were to happen to me, and Anna understood that. She just did not want me facing my fears alone. I never said anything to Anna that I was planning to see Hans. But I could tell in her hug goodbye, she knew. Nothing could really get passed her. She knew me better than myself sometimes.

"Come back with a successful agreement! Kristoff and I will have fun playing Castle"  
>She was trying to calm me, help me not worry. Anna, who has the biggest heart full of love for everyone. That was my favorite part about her, and I have a feeling that it was Kristoff's favorite part as well. You can see it in his eyes when he looks at her.<br>I catch him staring at her every once in a while. The look on his face makes it look like he is wondering how he got so lucky to have Anna. Every time I see that look my heart lurches and my stomach drops. I want a man to look at me like that.

"Your majesty, we are here."

That knocks me out of my thoughts. I look off the side and there's the kingdom of the Southern Isles.

It was a growing kingdom, full of life. As we approached the docks I could see the people bustling around the city. It was a scene that made me smile, seeing so many people happy, it brought warmth to my heart.

"Your majesty! We were not expecting you!"

I turned my gaze to a broad chested man in a royal guards uniform. Sigmund, the head of the Southern Isles royal guardsmen, I had only met him on one other occasion. He came to deliver the letter from King Herald.

We had docked and I was just staring at Sigmund. Letting it sink in that I was actually here.

"Queen Elsa?" he asked.

"Oh yes. Right, my apologies, I am still recovering from the voyage. I am hardly ever aboard a ship so the travel gets to me. I came to speak with the King." I finally choked out.

"Of course. Let me show you the way your highness."

I followed him through town by foot. As I walked it became clear that the people of the Southern Isles were aware who I was. They stopped in their tracks to stare, and I could not tell if it was in admiration, confusion, or fear. Just the thought of them fear me made me clam up. I felt my heart pound.

"It's alright Queen Elsa... they are just curious why you are here." whispered Sigmund.

He seem to notice my panic. Not that it was hard to miss I'm sure.

Before I knew it we had arrived at the palace. It was simply beautiful. There was an abundance of golds and reds in every direction from the flowers to the walls, and the beauty did not change while entering the palace.

I followed Sigmund through the halls, and it was not long till we arrived the great hall, and there waiting for us was King Herald, Queen Orwilda, and four of their thirteen sons.

"Queen Elsa, it is a pleasure to have you here. We had no idea you were coming."

King Herald had a booming voice, it was regal, strong, but you could just hear the soft undertone. His face was handsome, lines around his eyes that make his face look hard, like a man who has the world on his shoulders and faces the challenges ahead head on.

"My sincerest apologies, your majesty. I wished for my being here to be a surprise. It has been a while since we have spoken and I did not want the silence to be broken through a series of letters." I stated.

"And why are you here Queen Elsa?" Queen Orwilda asked coolly.

I could hear the real question in her voice, 'Are you here for Hans?'

"I wish to set up another trade agreement with the Southern Isles. The events that happened in Arendelle over four years ago was not the kingdom's fault, or your fault for that matter. Why should the innocent be punished?"

The royal family stared at me, in what I could only assume be surprised. And after what felt like a lifetime the King replied, "Of course."

I looked up to his hard face to see a smile. A genuine smile.

"Wonderful, we can start the treaty first thing in the morning," I smile politely.

The family seems a little more at ease. Smiles all around until...

"Now, if you don't mind, I wish to visit where you keep your prisoners." I state.

They all pause and look at me with questioning looks.

"I wish to see your prisoner, Hans."

* * *

><p>Alrighty that was chapter 2! I really hoped you liked it. Tell me what you think! Talk to you all later!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

The corridor was dark, only lit with the lantern the guardsmen was holding in front of me. The King and Queen granted me permission to see Hans. It was not that easy. Queen Orwilda quickly became defensive again, accusing me for ulterior motives. King Herald however seemed to not be worried, he calmed his wife down and they then granted me permission. I have a feeling that he wants the trade agreement to happen, other wise I do not believe I would be headed down here.

We approached a large iron door, sealed shut with multiple locks and latches. No one was getting out of the room behind the door.

'Good,' I thought to myself.

The guardsmen unlocked the door and then turned to me, "Queen Elsa, I feel the need to say, he is a different man then what you have seen.. Just keep that in mind, please..."

And with that he opened the door.

The room behind it was quite large, the size of my personal library. There was a table, and a bookshelf with a few books. and then at the far end there was a perfectly made bed and a nightstand. And next to the nightstand there was a large barred window.

And sitting on the sill of that window was the man I despised more than anything in the world. The man who tried to kill me... the man who tried to kill Anna.

"What do I owe your company Sigmund? It has been a few weeks..." Hans said, not looking behind him to see that it was me.

"Well, I do happen to think I am a little more feminine then Sigmund. Do you always not greet a guest in the proper way? Shameful really," I seethed. I had no intentions on being snarky... nor did I intend to come across so cold. I am a queen... I should have my emotions balanced a bit better.

He did not turn around, and I think it was because he was frozen in shock. His body became very tense... almost did not look to be breathing.

"Well? Are you going to turn around, **_Prince_** Hans?"  
>It wasn't until I said it that I realized that was a low blow. I shook my head of that thought. He deserved anything that came his way.<p>

Finally he turned around. He was slow about it, I bet he was just hoping that it was his imagination.

And then I saw his face. It was just as handsome as I remember, yet there was a different look to it... melancholy, tired. And there was something else behind his deep brown eyes that I just can't seem to place.

"Queen Elsa... What... What are you doing here?" Hans muttered as he bowed.

"How bold of you to ask such a straight forward question," I scolded.

The tension was thick. So thick I had to actually concentrate on breathing. He stood there, not looking at me. Not once since I entered the room did his eyes fall on mine.

It made me angry.

"Look at me in the eyes when I am in your presence! You owe me that much."

Then his eyes found mine. This chill went up my spine, which I could not place if it was a good or bad feeling. I could tell as he was looking at me, that this moment was the moment he was dreading. And I was disappointed that I did not feel better knowing that it was. In fact I felt worse, so much so that I was sick.

"My apologies Queen Elsa... You are correct. I do owe you that... and so much more," the end of his sentence was so full of emotion that it threw me off guard.

The room was silent, and we just stood there staring. I studied his face, it was thinner around his cheeks and he had a stubble. He looked like a broken shell of what was once an honorable man.

Hans then cleared his throat, and then carefully chose his words, "May I ask again my queen, what brings you to The Southern Isles... and more importantly my cell?"

The funniest thing is that I expected him to ask that question... and yet I had no answer.

"I-I came to set a new trade agreement with the king. For what happened in Arendelle was not the king's fault nor was it this wonderful kingdom's fault. One bad seed doesn't damage the rest of the garden, now does it?"

I looked at Hans, expecting him to lash out, to strike, to do... something. But he just stared at me with sadness in his eyes. His shoulders lowered a bit, and he had a look of shame. And for a moment, I wanted to reach out and take the worry and pain away.

"Elsa... my queen... There are no words. Nothing can be said for how... how sorry I am... I will spend the rest of eternity trying to make up for the wrongs I committed to your sister, your kingdom, and more importantly to you... And I am sorry that I am not being punished in a way I am sure you seem to fit. I wish I could die a thousand times if it were to make you satisfied..."

His words cut me like a knife. He wanted to appease me? The guard was right... this was a different man then the one I knew four and a half years ago.

"She's married now, you know... Anna..." I whispered, now I am the one who can't bring myself to look him in the eyes.

"Yes, Fredrick, my oldest brother, and his wife, Madeline Duchess of Westburg, attended the celebration. He said it was beautiful, that she looked very happy. Kristoff is so very lucky."

"Yes well, he is wonderful to her. She is the apple of his eye... He tried to save her that day... He risked everything to try to save her..."

"..."

"You know, if Anna and I's roles were reversed... She would have forgiven you by now... She would have forgiven you and maybe even ask for you to be free from your prison... She is so wonderful, her heart is pure gold. But I am having a hard time not seeing you for the monster you were... And the anger I feel is just churning in my stomach..."

"So why are you here then... if you detest me so much? You could come to sign this agreement and never see me... So why to my cell?"

Finally I look up and in to his eyes... his voice was strong, I almost for a second thought he was angry, but as I stare in to his face... his eyes, I see it's just desperation of having an answer to his question.

"I-I don't know..."

* * *

><p>I will leave that chapter with that. What did you think? I actually had fun writing this chapter. Even though I have a distraction ... Some Kind of Wonderful is on. If you have not seen that movie, watch it, it is fantastic, one of my favorites. Anyways until the next chapter! Toodles!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

'You don't know?'  
>I woke up the next morning in the palace's guest chambers, remembering the last thing said from yesterday. He was confused and curious how I didn't know why I went to see him. He never said so but the look on his face and tone of his voice said so.<p>

I stretched in my bed, finding the cooler spots on the sheets with my bare legs. The bed was comfortable and the room smelled like cinnamon. It was very cold however. Colder than I imagined it would be. I got up out of the bed and pulled on my robe and went to the giant window. I opened the curtains to let in the sunshine, hoping it would warm the room up, but sun did not come streaming in. Instead I my eyes met with a storm. The snow was coming down very hard and fast. A blizzard.

"Damn," I whispered to myself.

I had hoped to head home today, after signing the treaty. I am ready to put all of this and him behind me. I owed him no answers, or anything really. So what, I had no idea why I felt this strong need to see him. Or why I thought about him all the time. Or how it was his face I envision every night before I go to sleep. It was probably just that I want to make sure he is suffering. So why am I relieved that he is living somewhat comfortably even though he is a prisoner? Why do I want to hold him when he looks sad? To ease his pain?

I shook away those thoughts. I need to get ready to meet the king.

After getting dressed I made my way down to the king's study. When I arrived I was met with two of the thirteen, well twelve, princes.

"Queen Elsa. It is a pleasure. I am sorry we did not introduce ourselves yesterday. I am Fredrick, and this is my younger brother, Steinar."

Fredrick was tall and handsome. He had the Westerguard red hair, his was longer than Hans, and it was wavy. He kept it neat, he is a prince after all. He looked to be in his late thirties. When I looked in to his brown eyes I got a feeling of trust he seemed to be quite kind as well.  
>His brother Steinar, was slightly different, he was short and stocky and had a harsh look to his face. He seemed to be scowling. He had a couple of scars on his face, one on his cheek and another right above his left eye.<p>

"Its my pleasure as well. I understand, Fredrick, you attended Anna's wedding. I hope you and your wife enjoyed yourselves," I nodded, keeping an eye on Steinar, his unpleasant looks made me feel a bit uneasy.

Fredrick noticed my cautious eyes and smiled kindly at me, "No need to worry about Steinar here, he is just this way. Being the head of our naval fleet puts a rather large stick up your ass. Possibly why he is a bachelor at the ripe age of thirty-two."

"What my brother means to say is that there is a lot on my plate. I apologize for my hostile appearance..." Steinar muttered.

His voice was quiet, but sincere. I smiled at him, he seemed harmless now.

"Ah! Queen Elsa! Just in time! Are you ready to set this agreement?" King Herald boomed as he entered the room.

King Herald seemed to be in good spirits this morning, and seeing so made me feel a bit better. The king and queen were wonderful people and deserved to smile.

"Ready as I will ever be."

After we singed the new trade agreement I met the royal family in the dining hall for lunch. I was ready for it since I had missed breakfast this morning.

I was sat next another brother, named Jon, who was 28 and engaged to the kingdom's baker's daughter, and Fredrick. Across from me was Steinar. I learned all the names right before lunch. The order went: Fredrick, Helge, Thomas, Frode, Steinar, Tore, Morten, Erik, Jon, twins Gunnar and Geir, Arne, then Hans.

"So, Queen Elsa, I heard your plans were to back today correct?" King Herald asked.

"Initially yes, however the blizzard may keep me here for a few short days. If that is alright with you King Herald..."

"Why of course it is fine! We would be happy to have you," King Herald exclaimed happily.

"Thank you."

"So Queen Elsa, I hear your sister, Princess Anna, married this past summer. Have you any wedding plans yourself?" Queen Orwilda asked me.

The question caught me off guard, and I choked a bit on my ham.

Coughing I responded, "N-no! Not at the current moment."

"Oh, well I am sure you will find the right man. Steinar here is the only Prince left to wed, poor thing has not found the right woman yet..." The queen not so subtly hinted.

And this caused everyone else to choke on their food. Mortified I could not say a thing in fear of sounding rude.

"M-mother! L-lets not spread lies, he is not the only one. Jon is not yet married either," Fredrick stated quickly.

"Oh, but he's engaged to be married! Which is basically the same thing," Queen Orwilda shrugged.

"Well hopefully Steinar will find a very smart, independent, and beautiful woman very soon, right Queen Elsa?" King Herald chucked and winked at me.

"Well... Hans has yet to be married, correct?" I blurted out.

The room became quiet, an awkward feeling among us, and everyone sullen.

"Yes, that... is correct... however he is no longer apart of... this family..." Queen Orwilda said choking back tears.

Feeling dreadful now, I quickly excused myself not bothering to finish the rest of my meal, despite how hungry I was.

I paid no attention to where I was headed until I ended up in front of a familiar large, heavily locked, iron door. I stood there for a second collecting my thoughts.

Why am I here? What was I thinking...? I hated this man and all I can think about was him.

Then the door opened, as a guard exited the room holding a tray of what appears to be from the kitchen. Must be delivering Hans' food.  
>The guard stopped in the middle of the doorway.<p>

"Queen Elsa... what brings you here?" The guard asked.

Behind him I see Hans look up from his table at me. My face flushed and my heart fell to my stomach as I searched my head for an answer.

"I... I came to check on this prisoner."

"Oh, well go right a head my queen. Do you need a guard with you?"

I was staring at Hans as he was at me... his face was still sullen... and in a way I felt like I would be safe.

"No... there is no need. I can defend myself if needed."

With that I brushed past the guard in to the cell. I heard the guard close the door behind me.  
>I slowly approached the table and Hans stood up to greet me properly.<p>

"Queen Elsa, I was not expecting you back... ever..." Hans quietly stated,

"Yes well... I wasn't either... Do you mind if I sit?" I gestured to the second chair.

"If you wish..."

I sat in the chair facing him. The air between us was tense again but it was slightly different tension then last time. It was more awkward.

"I just ruined a lunch with the royal family..." I blurted not knowing what else to say.

Hans gave me a puzzled look and asked, "Well I find that hard to believe... what happened? If you don't mind my asking..."

"Your mother brought up Anna's wedding... and then tried to play matchmaker to your brother Steinar and I... stating he was the only one left to be wed..." Looking at my glove covered hands.

"I don't see how you ruined it..."

"Well then I stated that you weren't married..."

"Oh."

I looked up in his eyes," I am constantly forgetting that you are no longer who you once were..."

Hans said nothing but look down at his lunch. It was the same as the one I was eating earlier. We were silent for a good while until my stomach growled.

"I assume you did not finish your lunch," Hans gave a light chuckle.

His laugh made my heart jump and put a smile on face... it was infectious, "Well do you blame me for not staying?"

"Well... I would not have even attended, the lot together will drive a man mad..." Hans stated getting up and grabbing a plate from his bookshelf.

"Oh, well where was that advice an hour ago..." I joked lightly, watching what he was doing.

Hand cut his ham in half and his roll and put it on the other plate and placed it in front of me. I was taken back by his kindness... but I thanked him anyways, took off my gloves, and started nibbling on the roll.

"You mother yesterday gave me the impression that she hated me..." I muttered.

"Ah well... she hates any female. You should have seen her with all my brothers' wives before they became family... It was the worst, she almost scared off Frode's wife, but Fredrick and I convinced her that my brother was worth all the crap my mother put her through," Hans laughed as he remembered.

I suddenly was so at ease with him now. Just talking... I was starting to forget.

"Fredrick seems very kind, Steinar however... I was quite scared of him at first I must say... has he always been so...?" Then I put the meanest scowl on my face that I could muster and i brought up my shoulders and hands till I was sure I looked very tense.

Hans burst with laughter, "Well unfortunately yes. I am quite impressed you did a great impression..."

Hans and I just kept talking and before I knew it, it was dark outside the window.

"So then Jon walked up to my mother in front of the King and Queen of Algasia with half his hair singed, a black eye and an arm tied around his back, crying so hard that he was unable to tell my mother what the twins and I have done." Hans exclaimed while holding on to the table because he was laughing so hard.

I was laughing just as hard, I was holding my stomach, for it ached due to the laughter. Our laughter quieted and we just sat and stared at each other... His eyes bore in to mine... I was almost hypnotized...

This is still the man who tried to kill Anna.

This thought brought me to my senses. What the hell was I doing here?

"I will take my leave," I quickly stood up and accidentally hit the table making his glass of wine spill all over the table.

Quickly I went to grab the napkin I had used and apparently so did Hans. When his hand clamped on mine I felt this quiver shoot through me and something deep in my abdomen churned and all of a sudden I wanted more of his touch. Hans however quickly let go and we stood there in silence.

Finally, while breathing heavily I whispered, "I better go..."

And I bolted out of there.

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><p>Well I really hope you enjoyed that chapter. I am pretty tired so I am hoping it is not to terrible to you guys... I Love you guys for reading this story this far. That must mean I am doing something right haha. Anyways please please please review! I love reviews. Good or bad. And follow! Though you don't have to, I love you even if you don't but I would like to see more follows happen. :) Tata everyone!<p> 


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